A Shillong Thing: Why saying 'Dkhar is not okay?

Our identities are invariably multi-faceted with varied loci and even though we would like to believe that a lot of our actions are influenced by a strong locus of control yet it is only a naive expression to deny the existence of an external locus of identity. I am no exception, I do need a similar recognition and acceptance of my existence.

I grew up in a sleepy ‘90s Shillong that was at the time basking in its newly found neo-liberal prosperity yet drowned in its colonial hangover. My neighborhood is one that has Marwari families, a Manipuri family, a Garo family, and a Naga family among others. While one of my next-door neighbors’ is an Assamese, the other a Khasi. The 1990s was an interesting time when the transition from the analog to the digital was only beginning to take place. The complaints of kids being occupied with the virtual world were not as prominent as kids trespassing every property in the area were. It is probably this multi-cultural setup that has enabled me to inculcate a perspective that dissuades myself from the honey potting influence of today’s extreme narratives.

Ambedkar describes nationality as a "consciousness of a kind, awareness of the existence of that tie of kinship” and nationalism as "the desire for a separate national existence for those who are bound by this tie of kinship.” He pointed out that Nationality does not always produce Nationalism up until there is a will to live as a nation. Interestingly our celebration of ‘Unity in Diversity’ has worked wonders in keeping this nation in its present form together, yet there are these vested interests of a few people who have somehow been able to harness the inherent weaknesses of the human mind.

Of the many hangovers that we have managed to get rid of – unfortunately, the British policy of divide and rule seems to somehow always raise its ugly head from time to time. With due respect to all the positives it brings with it, the parameters of our decadal census have time and again been able to disturb the plural fabric of our otherwise thriving civilization. Fringe elements in every community have the tendency to stoke up the already innate differences that we as humans possess.

In this context, there are these instances where people hailing from the North-eastern part of the country have time and again complained of discrimination on the grounds of race. Janice Pariat, an eminent writer from the region, in her short piece ‘The Place I Cannot Call Home’ made it very clear why she cannot call Delhi her home. The use of racist slurs like ‘Chinese’, ‘momo’, and the most infamous one ‘chin**’ are not just offensive but have an alienating effect on the people of the region because it points to an association with the Chinese nation. The extent of it is so bad that such discrimination had to be criminalized by the state.

Unfortunately, though, there is little or no effort to introspect into the practice of alienating people who look ‘Indian’ in this part of the country. Racist slurs like ‘Vai’ in Mizoram, 'Mayang' in Manipur, and ‘Dkhar’ in Shillong are just a few of the many such slurs existing in pedestrian discourse. Interestingly, the usage of such racist slurs in this region is not criminalized as per law.

I can speak little of the ‘Vai’ and 'Mayang' terminologies but owing to my identity of growing up as a Bengali in Shillong, I had been on the receiving end of this categorical alienation of being called the ‘Dkhar’ and as such mine is a phenomenological perspective. It is comforting though, that mine is not the only experience. In her piece ‘Chronicles Of A Death Untold’ from Insider Outsider: Belonging and Unbelonging in North-East India, Mahua Sen poignantly points out an agonizing reality of alienation when she says – “… In the majoritarian spectrum, if Kashmiri Pandits are the acne of secular India, the Bengali Hindu of Shillong is the genital wart. Nobody knows you have one.”

‘Dkhar’ is a collective term for an ‘outsider’ and is, in fact, derogatory in nature, and by virtue of being a Bengali, I have a specific category within that composite ‘Dkhar’ identity and that is a ‘Kharbang’^[1]. Likewise, Nepalis are categorized as ‘Khardai’^[2] and the Biharis as ‘Khardud’^[3] and I don’t think that the respective communities have actually given permission for them to be termed as such. Perhaps, they aren’t even aware of the slurs that are used against them. In my conversations with a Mizo friend of mine, it was pointed out to me that the use of the ‘Vai’ terminology is not derogatory and the use of the same is quite common for a convenient grouping. In my opinion, since such terminology is agreed upon unilaterally without consensus or even knowledge of the group in concern, it is wrong. It only leads to ‘othering’ which is not healthy in building and sustaining an inclusive community.

Unfortunately, it is only human nature to find the unique in oneself and as such in the larger context ‘othering’ is an unavoidable phenomenon. It is but necessary to ensure that such discrimination is progressive and aimed at inclusivity and not self-pride, a more extreme version of which is ethnocentrism. By virtue of living in a structured society, it is inevitable to fall prey to its vices and normalizing the existing abnormalities. It is thus that I believe, all of us have been on the extreme ends of the ‘oppressor’ and ‘oppressed’ spectrums. There is, therefore, a need for conscious effort to prevent such ‘othering’. The immediate question that again troubles the mind is – How would it be possible to act on a normalized abnormality? The answer I think lies in Immanuel Kant's deontological perspective of "do unto others what you want others to do unto you". In order to build a society free from such hypocrisies, it is essential to lay emphasis on developing an ethical foundation for inclusive living. I think I am too proud to beg for anything and with this rant, I don't intend on garnering any sympathy and yet I am a slave to my external locus of identity trying its best to earn some recognition in a very different dominant discourse.

^[1] ‘Kharbang’ can be broken down to ‘khar’ from ‘Dkhar’ and ‘bang’ from Bengali.

^[2] ‘Khardai’ can be broken down to ‘khar’ from ‘Dkhar’ and ‘dai’ from ‘Daju’ which is also a term for elder brother in Nepali language. In the context of Shillong 'Daju' is a term used to refer to a porter.

^[3] ‘Khardud’ can be broken down to ‘khar’ from ‘Dkhar’ and ‘dud’ from ‘dudh’ (Milk) which is a stereotypical reference to milk sellers, a profession dominated by the Bihari people in Shillong.